Robby, thanks for the information on BPD. A ways back, I was having A LOT of anger and depression issues and one night when I was really drunk, I took a bunch of pills, not even sure what they were, but ended up calling a friend who called 911. Spent the night in hospital, they gave me some charcoal crap to rid my body of the pills, and sent a psych rep to come and talk with me. Long story short, when I went to see a psychologist and explained my history and problems (I was not trying to "kill myself" but to get the attention of my husband/have him "rescue me"/make him "feel bad for me")...he immediately opened up his DSM book and said he thought I fit the category of BPD.
Of course, wondering about this, I did some research. I realized that not only was I exhibiting the behaviors (and had pretty much my whole life) but that my husband was as well. That whole "walking on egg-shells" and "I love you, no I hate you, no I love you!" thing...but now I think that this was all a symptom of his addiction not BPD. So, in sum, I guess that two people---one with BPD and one with an addiction that mimics BPD is not a very good mix???
So, guess I have some work to do on my part---I need to understand more about my BPD and find tools to manage it.
Thanks for bringing that up...it really makes me think harder about MYSELF and the role I play in the sick relationship I have with my husband.
And, because this is a different thread, I will add that while I think it is important to be sensitive to other's feelings about the words we choose---sometimes it is not so much what we say, but how we say it. One must consider pragmatics; the context and implications of what is being said. So much is embedded in language and I believe it truly shapes our reality. While the term "tweaker" certainly carries a negative connotation--our understanding of the word depends on a number of things, including, but not limited to, one's personal experience and history. A newcomer may have a lot of anger...may not fully understand the addiction. Although it is important for them to learn to view the addict as "a person, an individual", that comes with time as they educate themselves about the nature of addiction.