Haven't posted for a while, but the short version is my husband left me in July, 2008, as an active
meth addict. He, of course, displayed all of the regular behaviors stealing, lying, disappearing, lost his job. etc. He had to leave because "we were
arguing too much"...the usual.
I heard he was "seeing" someone immediately after he left and, around January, I got a call from the new woman asking me questions about him. He had apparently depleted her bank account and stolen and pawned everything she had. She also told me her first date was one week before he left me...Big surprise...she's also pregnant. I basically told her he was a meth addict and she should run for her life, that I had no interest in talking with her further and that I hoped she could live with herself for having an affair with a married man (she knew he was married and knew who I was) and that as far as I was concerned she will reap what she has sown, as will he.
Last week a mutual friend ran into him and said he had gained 40 or 50 pounds so he asked my ex if he had kicked his habit. He finally admitted to someone that he had been doing it and said that he had been off the stuff for 5 or 6 months now.
I guess a part of me always thought he would seek me out and at least apologize for what he did when he stopped. Instead, I got nothing. I now find my brain playing out conversations with him looking for answers. I guess part of me is hurt, because somewhere in the back of my head I always assumed he would come back when he realized what he lost or at the very least I would get answers. Wishful thinking I guess.
So I go back to the experts (who have lived through it) with questions. I guess I'm hoping the answers will help me move on as I again seem stuck.
Is he well enough to provide any answers?
Does he feel any remorse or regret?
Does he think about me?
Does he love this other woman or is he just stuck with seemingly no way out?
Why hasn't he even tried to seek me out and apologize?
Did he use meth to avoid me because he already wanted out or did it make him choose between us?
Should I track him down and see if he will talk to me?
Stupid, I know I should focus on myself and not him, but I never even got a chance to have a real conversation with him after he left. I filed for divorce, did not give him one dime, got a default judgment and tried to move on. But 10 months later I find myself regretting that decision now as he seems to have stopped using. Maybe I gave up too soon?
Any ideas would be great! Thanks again for the support!
I heard he was "seeing" someone immediately after he left and, around January, I got a call from the new woman asking me questions about him. He had apparently depleted her bank account and stolen and pawned everything she had. She also told me her first date was one week before he left me...Big surprise...she's also pregnant. I basically told her he was a meth addict and she should run for her life, that I had no interest in talking with her further and that I hoped she could live with herself for having an affair with a married man (she knew he was married and knew who I was) and that as far as I was concerned she will reap what she has sown, as will he.
Last week a mutual friend ran into him and said he had gained 40 or 50 pounds so he asked my ex if he had kicked his habit. He finally admitted to someone that he had been doing it and said that he had been off the stuff for 5 or 6 months now.
I guess a part of me always thought he would seek me out and at least apologize for what he did when he stopped. Instead, I got nothing. I now find my brain playing out conversations with him looking for answers. I guess part of me is hurt, because somewhere in the back of my head I always assumed he would come back when he realized what he lost or at the very least I would get answers. Wishful thinking I guess.
So I go back to the experts (who have lived through it) with questions. I guess I'm hoping the answers will help me move on as I again seem stuck.
Is he well enough to provide any answers?
Does he feel any remorse or regret?
Does he think about me?
Does he love this other woman or is he just stuck with seemingly no way out?
Why hasn't he even tried to seek me out and apologize?
Did he use meth to avoid me because he already wanted out or did it make him choose between us?
Should I track him down and see if he will talk to me?
Stupid, I know I should focus on myself and not him, but I never even got a chance to have a real conversation with him after he left. I filed for divorce, did not give him one dime, got a default judgment and tried to move on. But 10 months later I find myself regretting that decision now as he seems to have stopped using. Maybe I gave up too soon?
Any ideas would be great! Thanks again for the support!
