I have done so many searches online for help with this, to no avail; hope you guys can help me.
I've been very casually dating an ex-meth user for a couple months. He's been clean for 2-1/2 years. He used for 20 years or so.
He's very shy and quiet; I don't get many cues from him about how he feels, other than that he does call and wants to get together regularly. I have a lot of past issues myself (not drugs or alcohol though) so I'm plenty insecure. Staying the course with him is taking tremendous faith, security, and patience on my part because I'm used to lots of verbal validation (such as they like me, I'm pretty, whatever) from whomever I'm dating. Early on he told me that he'd never dated without drugs or alcohol and didn't know what to do or say sometimes. Which was valuable info, but I still get insecure because I have NO idea how much he likes me and I'm afraid to ask for fear of scaring him.
Is this shyness and quietness typical of a person in recovery? Is it because he used for so long? This is all new to me.
Still I like him so much I couldn't fathom not trying to stick in there and see if he can get more comfortable with me in time.
I've been very casually dating an ex-meth user for a couple months. He's been clean for 2-1/2 years. He used for 20 years or so.
He's very shy and quiet; I don't get many cues from him about how he feels, other than that he does call and wants to get together regularly. I have a lot of past issues myself (not drugs or alcohol though) so I'm plenty insecure. Staying the course with him is taking tremendous faith, security, and patience on my part because I'm used to lots of verbal validation (such as they like me, I'm pretty, whatever) from whomever I'm dating. Early on he told me that he'd never dated without drugs or alcohol and didn't know what to do or say sometimes. Which was valuable info, but I still get insecure because I have NO idea how much he likes me and I'm afraid to ask for fear of scaring him.
Is this shyness and quietness typical of a person in recovery? Is it because he used for so long? This is all new to me.
Still I like him so much I couldn't fathom not trying to stick in there and see if he can get more comfortable with me in time.
