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I am starting to accept the fact that he will have a life of diminishing his dignity for the foreseeable future, be incarcerated, institutionalized, or death. Of course there is the rehabilitation possibility but frankly that hope is very weak at this time. " IMO if he escapes those possibilities I have listed above he will have emotional damage for many years."

I do understand your feelings here Stan, but never forget that there is someone greater than you and I to handle his emotional damage, if one day he comes to this point. For now, the actual damage is out of your control and you have given your worries to God. Sometimes we get bogged down and it so easy to forget that he is actually carrying us through all this pain and suffering. You are NEVER alone Stan.

My son is deemed pathetic and totally rejected by mainstream society and by their standards I guess I don't blame them. However, he is my son and I will always love him no matter what. However it still hurts to know that he is the scourge of society and that he will not experience REAL joy but the fake chemical joy that comes from a bowl of meth. Actually as I think about it, the fact that he does not enjoy real joy is the hardest to take. The rejecting society can kiss my AZZ, as they have never been there for me or my family in real crises anyway.

We cannot, of course, control joy. It does not come at our call, it does not stay at our command. More often than not, we are surprised by joy. Joy is fundamentally a gift from God. As we sink our roots more deeply in the soil of God's love, we find ourselves more able to receive from him. And as a result we find joy that we never thought possible.

May God increase your son's capacity for joy today. May God surprise your son with joy.

It is possible to experience joy without denying or avoiding other more painful emotions. When the time is right your son can follow Jesus' example of joy. When joy comes, he can receive it. It is a good gift from God and you, Stan, can find a little comfort in knowing the door will never be closed.

We face painful realities and allow ourselves to feel the painful feelings. But grief is only for a season. There will come a season for joy. In fact one of the most surprising things about the recovery process is that as we grow in our capacity for experiencing deep emotional pain we also enlarge our capacity for experiencing joy. Recovery is not just about learning to experience unpleasant emotions. It is about learning to feel the full range of life's emotions.

Who can say how long this will take? It certainly cannot be rushed. But God is prepared to be with us through the whole process. God also understands joy.

Today please help root Stan in God's love for him. Please help him scorn any shame. Remind Stan that God's plans for him and his family include joy.

Here are a few more to help you. I am always here for you Stan, along with your many many friends here that you have helped.

Help me to scorn shame, Lord.
Help me to root myself so completely in you
that shame has no power over me.
Help me to see the joy you have set before me, Lord.
Remind me today of your plans.
Help me to draw strength today
from the hope that your plans for me include joy.
Amen

Give me the capacity for gratitude today, Lord.
Break through the clouds of pain in my life.
Surprise me with joy.
Fill my soul, my inmost being, with gratitude for life
and with praise to you.
Amen.

If I could I would just cut him out of my life completely but I can't, I have tried. The logic for cutting him off completely is that I can either watch him go down by himself or let him take me down also. Maybe I can get to that point someday but for today I can't.

Stan………I hurt for you. I am so sorry. I don't think it is possible for any parent to completely cut their child out of their lives…….that is not in the plan. I think you do an excellent job of loving from a distance.