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Hi All,
A thought that I have been pondering, (as one who has many loved ones who are addicts to the meth monster, but have grown really far beyond my anger, pain and frustration at their behavior during active addiction,) is: Of course, there is that "first choice" to take, try or expose oneself to meth, (unless exposed by another in-utero or by force,) but once that first hit of dopamine takes one into the furthest reach of "uphoria," is it really a "choice" after that?
Only those who have been there can say. . . As one who has never even been offered or seen it in real life, (only in pix,) I wonder, at what point does it become unstoppable - as I have used, (and abused,) marajuana, alcohol, and downers, but never have I become "addicted" to any of these.
My own addcition now is - admittedly and embarrassingly - cigs. Perhaps I am just fortunate that is "all" I am struggling with, and nothing else. I know that I HATE the cigs, but continue to be a slave to them daily. I quit cold turkey for six years, only to think that I could do it "just once," and six months later am waiting for the script to come through for Chantix, as cold turkey and the gum hasn't worked for me. Sometimes I think this is my Higher Power's way of showing me that I was only "one smoke away from addiction". . .and maybe I can gain a better understanding of why people do meth to begin with and think they can do it "just once" again. Although, there is no great uphoria or "sex-trippin" from cigs, it is still an addiction, nonetheless. . .
And I have read and heard, (no scientific evidence here,) that cigs are only 1/10th as addictive as meth. In all honesty, I have to say that I have the utmost respect for all of those who have been able to abstain, recover or whatever one calls it, from meth, for any length of time, as I know my struggle is embarrassing, guilt-ridden, and terribly distructive to myself, yet I have continued these last six months to light up.
So many meth (and cig,) addicts I have known and seen wanted so badly to stop and have "normalicy" in their lives, but it seems to me that it really wasn't a "choice" for them anymore. I had a friend who died from the effects of meth abuse, and I know she wanted so badly to change for her kids, but it was just so far out of reach for her. She died, sadly, in her early thirties from kidney and heart failure, leaving little ones to be raised by their terminally ill meth-addicted father.
I know I make a concious choice every stupid time I light up, but with meth, does there come a point at which it is not a choice?
Thanks to all who care to answer, and for enduring my question. . .
Much Love,
Starfish
A thought that I have been pondering, (as one who has many loved ones who are addicts to the meth monster, but have grown really far beyond my anger, pain and frustration at their behavior during active addiction,) is: Of course, there is that "first choice" to take, try or expose oneself to meth, (unless exposed by another in-utero or by force,) but once that first hit of dopamine takes one into the furthest reach of "uphoria," is it really a "choice" after that?
Only those who have been there can say. . . As one who has never even been offered or seen it in real life, (only in pix,) I wonder, at what point does it become unstoppable - as I have used, (and abused,) marajuana, alcohol, and downers, but never have I become "addicted" to any of these.
My own addcition now is - admittedly and embarrassingly - cigs. Perhaps I am just fortunate that is "all" I am struggling with, and nothing else. I know that I HATE the cigs, but continue to be a slave to them daily. I quit cold turkey for six years, only to think that I could do it "just once," and six months later am waiting for the script to come through for Chantix, as cold turkey and the gum hasn't worked for me. Sometimes I think this is my Higher Power's way of showing me that I was only "one smoke away from addiction". . .and maybe I can gain a better understanding of why people do meth to begin with and think they can do it "just once" again. Although, there is no great uphoria or "sex-trippin" from cigs, it is still an addiction, nonetheless. . .
And I have read and heard, (no scientific evidence here,) that cigs are only 1/10th as addictive as meth. In all honesty, I have to say that I have the utmost respect for all of those who have been able to abstain, recover or whatever one calls it, from meth, for any length of time, as I know my struggle is embarrassing, guilt-ridden, and terribly distructive to myself, yet I have continued these last six months to light up.
So many meth (and cig,) addicts I have known and seen wanted so badly to stop and have "normalicy" in their lives, but it seems to me that it really wasn't a "choice" for them anymore. I had a friend who died from the effects of meth abuse, and I know she wanted so badly to change for her kids, but it was just so far out of reach for her. She died, sadly, in her early thirties from kidney and heart failure, leaving little ones to be raised by their terminally ill meth-addicted father.
I know I make a concious choice every stupid time I light up, but with meth, does there come a point at which it is not a choice?
Thanks to all who care to answer, and for enduring my question. . .
Much Love,
Starfish
