*Sponsored
Link
My ex girlfriend (31yr old) is strung out on meth. I do not use. The meth was in her past before we met and recently resurfaced in January of this year We were together for 2 1/2 years and our relationship recently ended when I moved out May 1st. . She got much worse. She is now selling it with three other people that have moved into her house. She is close to her parents, should I involve them and ask them to help her, or will this be a sort of betrayal and really mess things up. I am unsure how her parents will react. She has great potential and I do not want to see her waste her life. She blames me (our relationship) for her use. She could really hate me for telling her parents, and I don't want to misuse her trust in me. Even though we are no longer together, I still care about her and would not rule out a future relationship with her, hence another reason for my hesitancy in telling her folks.
|
|
||
|
| ||
| Author | Comment | ||
|---|---|---|---|
 Help442 |
Should I tell my girlfriends parents? |
Lead | |
|
Posts: 1 (05/14/08 14:00:19) Newcomer! |
|
||
|
danimal55 |
|||
|
Posts: 7083 (05/14/08 14:16:56) Forum Star |
As a parent I'd feel betrayed if you didn't tell me....her parents? can they trust you?
|
||
|
LdyOfWzdm |
|||
|
Posts: 545 (05/14/08 14:19:50) |
The following are just my ideas on your post!
|
||
|
lax2 |
|||
|
Posts: 2367 (05/14/08 14:26:31) Forum Friend |
Hmmm... Id at least tell them that they MIGHT WANT to keep a close eye on her behavior... Or do I just agree with Danimal flat out and tell them... HMMM... In
any case the parents seem to be the most likely to be inclined to help her...
I'd probably tell them something is up that will cause her nothing but trouble... I'm guessing they may know what you are talking about... YEAH tell Em... Do it anonymously over the phone if that is how u feel more comfortible about it,... |
||
|
luvepiphany |
|||
|
Posts: 7545 (05/14/08 14:33:40) Forum Star |
I understand that May 1st seems like an eternity ago......
I remember when I was sort of counting the minutes that I'd been apart from the meth addict. It was so damned hard! Thinking that any minute he could be dead.....that was my worst thinking but it was all terrible to go through. Welcome. Tell the parents, just be ready for them to be in Big Denial. Every loved one is at first. No One in the world wants to admit that someone they love is held in bondage by meth. It is bondage ya know? Your gal is a slave and if she's sellin it, she's also a slave to the people who buy it. So glad you had the courage to leave. Hallelujah! It can take the courage of a lifetime to leave a meth addict as they are sitting there on a path to h3ll and they can't see a thing. So, tell the parents whatever feels right and just know that you are the only person you Have to live with. If they treat you like shyt, which happens a lot, just let it go and stand firm in what you know is right. There's nothing the parents can really do with her addiction but they can protect themselves and have a chance to try what they can. Expectations of what might happen and hopes that you might be able to stop your gal....well, set them aside so that you don't get hurt and then if wonderful things happen and she's ready to get into recovery, you can celebrate, otherwise, you still have to go on with your life. It's hard, but it's doable and I'm living proof. Most meth addicts take many tragedies and losses before they actually give up their precious meth. Keep talking, it will help you through this. Men and women alike need to share their pain and this shyt IS PAINFUL. luv |
||
|
LdyOfWzdm |
|||
|
Posts: 547 (05/14/08 14:38:24) |
I have to say that I like lax2's idea of letting them know anonymously. This could save you face with your ex, and still possibly get her the help she
needs.
Keep On Truckin' Lady |
||
 starfishlover123 |
|||
|
Posts: 1075 (05/14/08 19:37:18) |
Help442,
I ditto the response that you should thank your higher power for getting out! Loved ones are the least likely to be able to help those in the throes of meth addiction. It seems like the loved ones become public enemy #1 when we try to come between our beloved and their beloved meth. When I knew my ex was in trouble with the meth, I did everything in my power to let people I thought cared about us, (family, friends, and church folk,) know that he was in trouble, but they chose not to believe me and villanized me for it. As far as I know, everyone still feels everything that ever went wrong, (ever,) was all my fault, and the addict is 999.99% perfect in every way - go figure?? He became very charming and charismatic the deeper he got into his addiction - seems to go with the territory. Only you know if it is right to let the parents know. Keep in mind that most folks just aren't as savvy to the addiction as those of us who have been through it on one side or the next, and there is a lot of denial that surrounds the addiction, (I think I am just copying someone else's response.) Perhaps annonymously would be the best way to inform them. Then my best advice is: Step out of the way and let it run it's course. Pray for her, if you so subscribe, but save yourself, my friend. Many Prayers, Starfishlover |
||
|
LostinTx68 |
|||
|
Posts: 16 (05/15/08 06:09:36) Newcomer! |
Help 442
I'm a mother of 2, stepmother of 2 and a husband who has a DEVIL'S DRUG problem and I KNOW without a fact that if it were my child doing what you said your ex-girlfriend was doing that I may not know exactly HOW to handle it but I'd want to know. I mean all the years I didn't know about my husband I could have been praying for him - had the church praying for him, his family - etc. So missed years went by without prayer and I don't believe that anyone can receive the help they need if noone is praying for them. I actually would be mad at a boyfriend/girlfriend if they didn't tell me - I'd have tons more respect if they did tell me. However some people are blind and think their child can do no wrong - but atleast if they know they can watch and maybe find out anyways despite their thinking. Like everyone else has said - only you can truly make the decision. But I'd rather piss her off and risk not having a relationship with her ever again than watch her die from a drug deal gone bad or ODing. Again my opinion....but if such a thing happened and you went to her parents after-the-fact and told them what they knew - I'd almost guarantee they'd say they wish they'd knew so they could have done something to prevent it. And if she does go into treatment she will hate you while she's getting better - but she'll thank you when she finally gets better. Good luck deciding what to do. Our decisions aren't easy, but if your a praying person - pray about it and ask God HIS will! That might help! Many many prayers. HurtinTx68 |
||
|
LivesWithWolves1 |
Should I tell my girlfriends parents? | ||
|
Posts: 22 (05/15/08 08:37:07) |
As a parent, I would want to know.
By staying "trustworthy" in your ex-girlfriends eyes, you could be helping her to die. I am sure you don't want that. Remember to keep yourself safe. |
||
|
keepitsimpleforme |
|||
|
Posts: 247 (05/15/08 10:07:21) |
You're not doing her any favors by hiding what you know from her parents. They may or may not believe you (denial). But, atleast you tried. If she ever
gets clean she may thank you for telling them. Becasue like Liveswithwolves said -- you could help save her life.
I would tell them if it were me. |
||
|
Help442 |
|||
|
Posts: 2 (05/18/08 12:17:05) Newcomer! |
Thank all of you so much. Not only did I ask for advice in this forum, I called Narcanon, Drug Free America, and two shrinks. They all universally said the
same thing you all did - tell the parents. It went better than I expected and they are greatful I told them , .The ex-girlfriend on the other hand - not so
much. We go an interventionist really quick. It's actually going on as we speak. When she saw me in the room she ran out down the street yelling, "Are
you going to beleive him over me" to her parents. Exactly what the interventionist warned us about. I left my note and I hope to get called back in, but
if I don't, I'll know in my heart I made the right decision. If they don't call me back I wish her the best and I have to move on I know it; which
brings me to my next question
Q: I know all the warning signs tell me to run, but I really do love her and if she goes to treatment and gets sober I would entertain getting back togeter with her. Can you please tell me some of your experiences. |
||
Quick Reply
THIS SITE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE.
The information provided is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of
a health care professional if you have a specific health concern. Information
posted or provided by KCI.org may be reproduced and used on KCI.org or other
publications. However, we acknowledge the author retains original copyright.
Copyright © 1999-2008 by KCI The Anti-Meth Site - All Rights Reserved
Legal Disclaimers and Copyright Notices
