*Sponsored
Link
The Long Haul 5-10-08
I dont know what it takes to get a person to quit using. But I know one thing it takes to stay quit. It takes being able to look at ones self. And being able to handle what one sees. No matter what they see. Without diving back into their addiction to hide from it.
It takes a solid conscious decision by that person to change what they see. And the strength and determination to go through what ever one has to go through to bring about that change.
Looking back on a life of addiction is an ugly site. Especially when its your life. But I would guess that if it didnt bring up feelings of shame, guilt, and remorse. Ones chances of staying clean at that time would be slim. However those feelings are to be met and dealt with. Not feared and hid from.
I know from my own experience. Quitting was the easy part. All I had to do was not use.
Learning how to deal with who I had become. Or except what I had done. Forgive myself, make my amends and move forward with my life. Well that was a different story.
But thats the story of my recovery. Thats what I had to do to change what I seen. Or what I had become.
Changing sucks. But it dont suck near as bad as not changing.
I suppose when I was using I thought the change was going to be instant. From user to non user I mean. Either I could do it or I couldnt.
Well I found it it wasnt nearly that simple. It wasnt even really about using for me. It became about wanting something different. And not having any idea how to get it.
It became about trying to understand what was going on in my life. Trying to understand how to change. Trying to forgive myself.
My recovery became about trying. Not giving up.
I couldnt give up. Once I found out I wasnt going to die from not using. I had to find out what life was like clean and sober. And the only way I was going to be able to find out what that was like. Was by not using.
Its going to suck for a while. And it may suck for a long while. But the only way to get through it. Is to go through it.
But it will get better. If you just dont use.
Get it into your recovery for the long haul. If you want to make changes.
I wish you all the best.
Greg
