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I stopped coming for a while because it seemed that every single thread I read was about how people are always pulled back in, how they always relapse, how
meth will always win. I just want to know if there's hope. I just want it straight up.
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Does anyone ever get better?
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 Devastated101 |
Does anyone ever get better? |
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Posts: 20 (05/02/08 05:55:29) |
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Loraura |
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Posts: 6718 (05/02/08 06:02:36) Moderator |
Of course there is hope! There is a long list of recovered addicts here, and many many more around the world. People DO recover from meth addiction.
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LdyOfWzdm |
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Posts: 434 (05/02/08 06:08:04) |
Does anyone ever get "better"?
YES! I've known some who have put down their addiction, NEVER to pick it up again. I've seen other's who stumble and fall in recovery (time after time), but keep getting back on the horse, and continue to live a "better" life. Then there are those who just never find their way in recovery, they choose to believe they are doomed to active addiction, fall off the horse and remain there...using and abusing. Not every ones recovery is the same... ...but I believe if you Keep On Truckin', keep on seeking recovery... keep on saddling up... it's got to be better than giving up! JMHO Keep On Truckin' Lady |
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Hurting for YOU |
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Posts: 450 (05/02/08 06:17:29) |
Devastated,
What is YOUR story? Maybe we can all help if we know what your story is. Hang around, try not to get discourage, because you will see some fantasic stuff here! |
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Devastated101 |
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Posts: 21 (05/02/08 06:28:52) |
My story is that my husband uses and I've already given him more chances than he deserves and I have one foot out the door today. I'm 99% sure
I've given up. There's the 1% that's hanging on. I'm through with it. I just can't compete with it. Our child can't compete with
it. Meth means more to him than either of us than anything else and it's killing me each day, a little bit at a time.
I don't even think I love him anymore. That's been murdered slowly over time. I look at him and I think I smell it sometimes. I don't want him to kiss me or touch me because I worry he's been using. Every single moment between us has been tainted by this !+#!. I'd rather he go out and F** twenty women than do this !+#! again. I hate it. I'm just fed up and hurt and angry and I didn't want to start this day being suspicious and packing my stuff. I wanted it to work. I wanted to grow to love him again. I just can't. I don't know what else to do. |
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vidaloca321 |
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Posts: 25 (05/02/08 06:50:20) |
I know what you are going through. I lived it. Go to Al-anon or Nar-Anon meetings. They've been helping me tremendously.
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Penel0pe |
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Posts: 6501 (05/02/08 06:50:47) Moderator |
Is he trying to "Get Better," or is he giving you lip service?
What is he doing that might help him stop using - talking about it, or doing something about it? People who do the work get the results, but for me, I talked about quitting meth long before I actually did it. As a result, all that talking resulted in my throwing away a lot of important people, losing all sense of priority, and finding myself all alone with my bag of meth and felony charges before I was actually willing to DO something about my drug use. All the talking about quitting was "Half Truths." I wanted to stop, but then I didn't want to stop at the same time. The good news is that I DID stop, and there are a LOT of people on this board, and millions more in the world who have stopped using too - and I can say without a doubt that I "Got Better" in many ways besides just not using anymore. So the answer is YES, people do get better, as long as they put some effort into getting better. |
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Hurting for YOU |
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Posts: 453 (05/02/08 07:18:37) |
Devasted.............I am sorry you are hurting. Vidaloca gave some great advice about Al-non..............that is what has helped me so much combind with this
message board.
This is from one of the books I got at Al-non: I will subitute meth addict for alcohol: See if this hits home: "Why do I find it so hard to accept that meth addiction is a disease? Would I blame a diabetic or a cancer patient for their symptoms? Of course not. I know that willpower alone is not enough to defeat a disease. If meth addicts could simply stop whenever they wanted, many would have stopped long ago. It would do me no good to plead, berate, or reason with tuberculosis; I will not waste my time pleading, berating, or reasoning with addiction. I therefore resolve to stop blaming the meth addict for what is beyond his or her control - including the compulsion to use. Instead, I'll direct my efforts where they can do some good: I will commit myself to my own recovery. I know that improved health in one family member can have a profound effect on the rest of the family. In this way, I can make a much stronger contribution to the wellbeing of those I love than I ever could by trying to combat a disease that can't be controlled. Today's reminder When I accept that meth addiction is a disease, it becomes easier to reconize that I, too, have been affected by something beyond my control, and to begin to recover from those effects. "Whether or not the meth addict achieves sobriety, the time for teh family members to begin working on their own recovery is now" A Guide for teh Family of Alocholics Devasted: I hope something in this helps you. If you truly do not love him anymore than I am not sure it will work, but if you are just HURT and sick and tired of the addiction game, there is hope. Start today. Find something for you, because YOU are suffering too! Hugs, Katie |
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keepitsimpleforme |
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Posts: 192 (05/02/08 09:25:13) |
I have two good friends from church - they're actually a married couple - who have been clean for 5 years each. The woman - she did 5 years in prison for
trafficking. Stayed clean after she got out and has been clean for 5 years. Her husband - he was shooting dope and wandered into the church parking lot one
night --- called the Preacher and started going to that church. Has been clean ever since (5 years). They do a support ministry for addicts now. Great people.
Miracles do happen. Statistics say that only 2% of addicts ever get/stay clean. So, it's tough. |
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 Sfj |
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Posts: 6424 (05/02/08 09:59:46) - |
Where did you get this info ? "Statistics say that only 2% of addicts ever get/stay clean. So, it's tough." I can provide statistics that show that up to eighty per cent recover. In reality, neither the figure of two percent or the figure of eighty percent are worth looking at. Statistics can be spun to say just about anything. |
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forget suzette |
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Posts: 13981 (05/02/08 11:12:20) Retro Space Cadet |
of corse we get better!
...I can go outside during the day and everything! as far as correcting the past, that's the hard part. .....alot of times that's why we relapse. I personally cannot live with someone i can't trust, drugs or no drugs. ........I won't worry about what people do when I can't see them. so, I can control that by not counting on them as my partner. |
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Devastated101 |
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Posts: 22 (05/02/08 12:34:50) |
Thanks for all the responses. I don't even know where this came from today. Being tired (having a small child who won't sleep through the night
anymore,) and letting things build and build inside me. I do love him. I do want to fight. But sometimes, the statistics seem to bleak. I talk to a friend
of mine who used to use and she says that despite being clean for 5 years, if she found it in her house, she'd use it. Even though she has 3 beautiful
babies, she'd use it. If she knew it was next door, she'd break in and use it. That's how powerful a drug it is. I just wonder how someone can
possibly get over this. How they can win.
I don't mean to sound so down. Sometimes, I just don't know what to do. I think about him relapsing and I don't know how I can make it--physically, mentally, spiritually. I feel as though it's eaten so much away from me. Sometimes, I look in the mirror and try to find the person I was and I can't, it's just someone going through the motions, trying not to worry, trying not to snoop. I don't want to be a reason why he goes back to it--because I can't cope sometimes. I just don't know what to do. I've looked into nar-anon meetings. I'll start there. thank you again for the words, though..... I appreciate it so much... |
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keepitsimpleforme |
I think... | ||
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Posts: 205 (05/02/08 12:44:28) |
I heard that in Alanon/AA.
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Sfj |
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Posts: 6426 (05/02/08 18:46:55) - |
I guess it proves that one can certainly hear some crazy things in meetings.
(sigh,) |
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TenderheartsKS |
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Posts: 1385 (05/02/08 19:48:48) Moderator |
Yes, people do get better if they have the willingness to plunge into recovery and learn a new way to live.
My clean/sober date is August 5, 1990. My addict ex-husband however, whom I walked away from in 1986 was buried last year at the age of 47. He chose not to recover. |
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SavannahOfLight |
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Posts: 94 (05/02/08 19:55:06) |
I have 3 yrs clean from meth and my life is better than it ever has been
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