I"m still here. with a plan .weening is an excuse to use.

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robertborges	I"m still here. with a plan .weening is an excuse to use.	Lead	[-]
Posts: 50 (04/29/08 17:45:23) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	wrong decission again but moving on.have been slowing down.Was once a day for a few weeks.then about 3 to 4 times a week for 1 week.this week 1 time yesterday.and no more.only have 1 connect and we are related.so the three off us my nephew and his girlfriend of 14 yrs.agreed i am cut off.talked to my sponsor today.lot of good talk.also had doctors appointment for my my foot surgery.Thought i was going back to work may 12th.now thats been extended till may 31st.that will alow me to get somewhat back to were i was when i went off work 5 weeks ago i would have used the extra time off to keep using.not gonna happen,rebounding is alot harder as we age.I thought about going over to the kaiser mental health and dependency section of the hospital for an evaluation.but have gone thru inhouse and iop in past already have alot of information.the key was that i never started recovery.stopped going to meetings.stopped communicating with sponsor and many people in our na/aa programs in this town,started drinking beer again after 82 straight meetings so didnt make my 90.was prescribed vicoden which i mix with drinking.thats when i i should have realized were i was heading.point is kaiser program is a good one.only would And cost me 20 dollors,but na is what was working for me.start working the steps.and na would be my continuing care for life anyway.along with this site.and the support that is here.I will recover.love all and thanks for being here.
luvepiphany		#1	[-]
Posts: 7414 (04/29/08 18:16:41) Forum Star Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Robert, can't you go to NA meetings while in the Kaiser program? Have you justified and made an excuse for that one yet? You know you are preaching to the choir right? Just writing it out is good, but make sure you re-read what you write. I think it will help you to be able to call yourself on your own addict bs. Better each time you try. There is NO REASON WHY THIS CAN'T BE YOUR LAST "TRY" BECAUSE YOU CAN RECOVER. You really can. luv
Penel0pe		#2	[-]
Posts: 6479 (04/29/08 19:40:12) Moderator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Robert's gonna come to Penelope's and hit a meeting soon.. Woo Hoo!!!
nineyearsclean		#3	[-]
Posts: 7516 (04/29/08 19:53:56) Best Friend to KCI Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I AM ABSOLUTELY COMPLETELY WITHOUT A DOUBT.....................JEALOUS AS ALL GET OUT! p.s. Robert: you're gonna LOVE Penelope; you won't be able to help it; please give her an extra special hug for me.
Penel0pe		#4	[-]
Posts: 6482 (04/29/08 20:00:59) Moderator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	(Don't tell him how weird I am just yet... any of you..)
oaklandathletic		#5	[-]
Posts: 57 (04/29/08 20:08:12) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I agree with LUV...Robert I salute you for being honest about using......but you continue to have a littl ebit here and there...Isn't that what got you back into this pickle?? Come on.....I think luv is on to something...go to both.......Get a double dose of recovery........You have to stay busy...Keep that addicted mind busy so it doesn't come up with some more thoughts about justifying another little bit...you gots to get this program in gear and turn it over to your higher power...... Remember.....My Robert????...He is gone....And all he kept telling me...Is EXACTLY what your saying......Well......He can't tell me anymore............that last "little" pop.....popped his heart..."POOF"he is gone ......He was only 44........ You CAN do it my friend....... Take care of you... Paul
luvepiphany		#6	[-]
Posts: 7424 (04/29/08 21:36:29) Forum Star Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Yes! Penelope! I'm so GLAD YOU ARE CLOSE ENOUGH! Wooohoooo! I wish I could go to one of Pen's NA meetings.... Robert-You Are On Your Way! luv
Loraura		#7	[-]
Posts: 6696 (04/30/08 07:03:07) Moderator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	That little voice that told you that weaning is an excuse to use? That is the voice of sanity.
danimal55		#8	[-]
Posts: 7072 (04/30/08 07:30:18) Forum Star Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Ditto...don't be a weanie Robert. You're not in denial any longer, you're in refusal [if you keep using], refusal is what kills us. You know what to do.
le grumps		#9	[-]
Posts: 3382 (04/30/08 08:50:50) Forum Grouch Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Yeah, the only weaning I would ever get done is weaning right back into heavy use. Except it took so little time that it couldn't have been considered weaning at all! Loraura said: "That little voice that told you that weaning is an excuse to use? That is the voice of sanity." That is so right on. Glad you are going to a meeting Robert! Penelope is awesome! If you ever notice her suddenly break into a run though, she's probably just chasing a bike. No worries, she'll be right back. LOL.
smilewasmask		#10	[-]
Posts: 2096 (04/30/08 09:32:51) Forum Friend Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	.....from what i hear....you probably better not have any french~fries with her either......
robertborges		#11	[-]
Posts: 52 (04/30/08 11:10:38) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	The reason why i tried that and acctually have been weening since first straight week of using .1st week 7 days.second week4 days.third week 4.4th week 3. and this is fifth week.1 and done.That was monday.it was suggested as a way to quit meth web site of sfj"s.Still plan to go panelope.My wife keeps asking if I"m communicating with guys or females.I told her their addicts in recovery.But thats a fear I have because i realize how i sound in here.Character defect that need to change.If i dont make it well then I"ll be in that percentage of addicts that realy couldnt or wouldnt let go of what made us addicts in the first place.selfish basterd i am at times.
Loraura		#12	[-]
Posts: 6700 (04/30/08 11:19:39) Moderator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I bet you'll like Penelope's other half, Paul. He's great! Super nice and friendly guy.

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I"m still here. with a plan .weening is an excuse to use.

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