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I don't know why you did that, probably because old behaviors are very hard to change. She is your daughter and on some level since she is acting irresponsiable and unacountable like a child you are reverting back to treating her like a child and steping in doing for her what she can and must do for herself. Enabling is when we do things for another human being that is capable of doing something for themself but is unwilling to step up and just do it. She should be making her own phone calls. I strongly advise you to stop rescueing her and let things fall where they will. She will not stop if you continue to make it easy on her in any way,shape, or form. Stop worrying about pleasing her and focus on your husband and your grandchild. They need you the most. One is a child and one has health problems, they need you. She has problems because she has made them for herself. Remember she CHOSE to run off and live the meth life. You helped her set up house and were there for her when she had this child. She abandoned that life in favor of returning to meth. I used to feel sorry for my ex because he was homeless after I kicked him out blah blah blah. Then it dawned on me that he chose to be homeless because he knew if he continued to use he would be kicked out of the house for good. He had it good but chose to use drugs over being a father and a partner to me. Try not to confuse pity with love. You love your daugher because she is your child. But she must learn to take responsiablity for herself or else she doesn't stand a chance at getting and staying sober. Remember if the addict has people helping them out either with making phone calls, setting appointments, providing transportation they will not step up and do those things for themselves because they figure why should they if they can con someone else into doing it by acting helpless.

My ex wasn't the brightest bulb but he could call drug dealers and his cronies to set up hustles just fine. But if he had to set an appointment with his PO or make an appointment for treatment or whatever he would play the helpless role. I have learned through therapy and support groups that the helpless act is highly manipulative behavior. When the addict plays helpless and gets you to take on their responsiabilities they are off the hook if anything happens. For example if you set up an appointment and for some reason there is a misunderstanding and you wrote down the wrong date. Well they get angry with you for messing up and they feel they aren't responsialble because they didn't set it up to begin with although they should've and could've. It's hard learning to detach with love and to care from a distance but once you start doing those two things you will begin to experiance peace of mind and your daughter will start feeling the true consequences of her addiction. Addicts do not stop until the pain of using exceeds the pain of not using. So by detaching with love and not enabling her you are helping to raise her bottom. Helping her hit bottom faster and therefore seek recovery faster. If you keep enabling her and anticipating her needs you are just helping her to avoid hitting bottom and seeking help for her addiction. I'm not promising if you stop caretaking and enabling she'll hate drug life immediately and seek help. It takes time for a addict to bottom out. I'm saying by not being being an enabler you are helping her hit bottom faster than she would've if you had kept doing for her what she could and should do for herself. If the addict has enablers constantly softening the blows her addiction throws at her she will see no reason to stop using. Consequences have to happen and for good reason. Once my mother took my car and cut me off I had no one to rescue me from my self made crisis of homelessness due to me spending rent money on drugs and getting evicted. I stopped using when I got pregnant and once I stopped using my mother took me in and started helping me again. Not with money but providing a place for me to live. I paid her rent and I paid for my own groceries. It was hard on my mother but she's happy she got tough otherwise I don't know where I would be toda. SHe helped me hit bottom faster by not rescueing me. I was homeless and I was walking the streets for money for dope but I hated it and it got old fast and now almost two years after my last use the thought of using makes my stomach hurt. So keep focused on your hubby and your Bug. I just found out I have Hep C but my viral load is small at 37,000. It scares me to think of eventually getting on Interferon should I need to or worse yet a transplant. How long did you husband have Hep C when he started getting sick and having serious symtpoms? Sorry to take this off topic but you can PM me if you want.

Jamie