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Okay so this is how I see my very special friend trapped in the meth world:
First all let me say that I am just a loved one in recovery myself:
I have the deepest empathy for the meth addict…….for someone who has not been on meth …………… it would be totally human to ask "WHY" Yes, I even went through that phase.
I am only going to describe my situation with my friend:
She is so beautiful! This is too her downfall when it comes to meth and being able to buy the ingredients to cook meth…………..there are many times she has said that she wished somehow, someway that she did look like a "meth addict"
Because she is not your typical "billboard sign" meth addict, she gets by with more than someone who may look like the billboard. She HATES this. It is very easy for her buy ingredients without throwing up red flags.
She is beautiful and has been stopped MANY times by the police for one thing or another and escapes without even a warning………….in the moment she is thankful and then when she realizes she is one step further from hitting "bottom" she is consumed doom again! The vicious cycle continues!
She is so good that she is able to cook meth with the counties money and cook meth with her boyfriend 309. Some people can she is lucky. I can she is the unluckiest person I know.
Deep down I know that she wants to hit "rock bottom!" But how can she, with family, friends, and the law allowing her to do so?
My friend hurts, feels, and has incredible pain. She feels she has lost her babies. The one's she describes as "My Three Reasons to Live" To her misconception, they have turned their back on her………….they have not……..I don't care who you are…….how in the world could you stop loving someone who had given years of nurturing and love…..NO WAY…….they still love her very much so and it time will find a way to express it to her……………but once again she is so very much ALONE. She is LONELY.
As I write this, it comes to me that the reason I ever came to KCI was to learn more about meth so that I may be able to help her………….I got lost and got consumed with "me" and "my hurts" that meth has caused me………….I feel so extremely ashamed. I lost sight of what my true intention was here and in the process took away from others trying to help others recover.
This is my advice to loved ones just discovering someone close to them may be on meth:
1. LOVE them……….they are still the same person, if they had been in an automobile crash and as a result a "mindless, such as vegetation) would you still love them…….Yes probably even more.
2. Don't enable them, but DON'T turn your back on them
3. Try real hard to focus your anger somewhere else, the addict already has enough guilt to last a lifetime………..adding to their guilt will only make things worse.
4. Learn Patience!
I declare, this second, to focus my attention back on her. I will not enable her, but I will be her friend. I will listen to her, I will love her and I will do my very best to help her children get to the point I am now.
