I know my husband has used meth in the past and I am pretty sure he is using it again (after a period of being clean for a few months--he was arrested for possession and put into a drug program).
These are the signs I'm seeing:
--Lack of interest in sex
--When we do have sex, he cannot climax, and stops saying he's "too tired"
--Staying up all night, but when we go out of town for the weekend or something together, he crashes and sleeps the entire time (he did this on a recent weekend to Vegas--didn't want to do anything, just sleep in the hotel room)
--Hanging out with people whom I think he sexually acts out with--very low-class types
When he was arrested and subsequently put into a drug program (which was just weekly meetings for a few months) I noticed the following:
--Greatly renewed interest in sex with me (three to four times a week)
--Normal performance in bed...energetic, and can have an orgasm
--Much more attentive to me, cut off contact with "bad people," started marriage counseling with me
--Still stays up quite late at night, but sleeping seemed more regular
--More interested in going out, doing things with me and our family
--Gained weight, was eating a lot more
He's sliding back into the former behavior again and it's having a huge toll on our marriage.
I searched his office today and found a very small packet of crystals; they smell chemical and look like meth. His jacket pocket smells like that weird chemical smell as well. And he has some sexual paraphernalia lying around (!*%% rings, etc.)
He's also hanging out with some woman who he says is only a friend at this point, but she recently contacted me with a bizarre and nearly incoherent message about how she's been in love with him for a year now and he's hers, not mine. (I blocked and deleted.)
We had a bad few years recently in which he cheated on me, but he claims to have stopped all that.
I was going to leave him due to the message from the gross woman (I told him if he cheated on me again, we were done), but now I suspect the drug is responsible and he's gone into a relapse.
Given that his behavior seemed SO much healthier when he was in the court-ordered program...I feel he really needs to get back into something.
I just don't know how to approach him. His sisters and brothers staged an intervention earlier this year and he took it very badly, said they were all wrong, insane, etc. Only getting arrested and put in the program seemed to help him.
How do I get him help???? He will attack me if I try, I am pretty sure. Or he'll say the meth is "old" and that he "hardly ever used it" and I'm making a big deal out of nothing....