My husband and I have been together for over 20 years. We were high school sweethearts. We both dabbled in drugs in high school but I stopped after graduation. I knew he used pot and ocasdional meth but after we married I thought he stopped. I've been dealing with his meth issue for about 8 years now. For many years he denied it but I knew because of how he acted and the pipes I would find. Finally last year I kicked him out and he agreed to go to rehab. He went to rehab in December of last year but left early march of this year. It was a 6 month program. I was naieve to believe he had changed so I let him back home. Things were great until about 5 months ago. I would confront him each time I thought he used. He denied it but I would have him test & of course he would fail. Each time he'd swear he was sorry & never use again. My breaking point was just about 3 weeks ago when he lost his job. He acted like he was going to work, but I found out he had been fired the week prior. He has been fired from so many jobs, too many to keep track of. We have 2 kids ages 13 & 9. I asked my husband to leave and my kids do not know why. My husband comes to me crying telling me he loves me and that these were short relapses; that he was not actively using like before. He says I'm twisting things and placing more obstacles toward his recovery. He now just started going to NA meetings, something he never did after rehab. I just feel lost & confused. I don't want to prevent his recovery but I feel like I need to separate myself from him. My dad passed away last month and I feel like dealing with his loss and my husbands addiction is too much. I know if I take him back he will go right back to using. But it's really hard on me. I hope I'm making the right decision. :-(
