Depression..............I feel is really setting in for me... i am forcing myself to eat , today , about an hour after i woke up I thought about something I used to really enjoy eating, I like getting the satisfries and the chicken strips at BK, and my mind is thinking about how this is not what it wants , it feels still hungry for the meth....like it doesnt want foodOn the 25th i didnt eat anything..
on the 24th my best friend took me out to eat. I didnt tell her what was happening to me the past evil dark 16 days , what i turned myself into this monster. we didnt talk alot , I was going through withdrawals still, and i just ended up puking everything up.
later in that day (on the 24th) i went to a human development center, that helps people with addictions and mental health. I am trying get a grip on to my life, and to say the least, i feel that nothing feels better.I really dont know anymore what i am trying to do for myself.
I feel like i am 2 different people...
i feel like i just want to lay down and die.
i keep wondering what death would really be like.
i am in pain, my head my mind my sanity -- i am at risk at loosing it all at any second
im not sure if im angry or sulky.
i really feel i am at the bottom right now..im at the edge ...i really dont know how else to feel, i feel so numb and distant to my very own life.
i also stopped buying weed, and beer too..
i want to feel what sober really feels like...im just done with it all
so far its just depression.....body aches... chills...cold sweat...flu symptoms...when will this really start feeling better for me?
on the 24th my best friend took me out to eat. I didnt tell her what was happening to me the past evil dark 16 days , what i turned myself into this monster. we didnt talk alot , I was going through withdrawals still, and i just ended up puking everything up.
later in that day (on the 24th) i went to a human development center, that helps people with addictions and mental health. I am trying get a grip on to my life, and to say the least, i feel that nothing feels better.I really dont know anymore what i am trying to do for myself.
I feel like i am 2 different people...
i feel like i just want to lay down and die.
i keep wondering what death would really be like.
i am in pain, my head my mind my sanity -- i am at risk at loosing it all at any second
im not sure if im angry or sulky.
i really feel i am at the bottom right now..im at the edge ...i really dont know how else to feel, i feel so numb and distant to my very own life.
i also stopped buying weed, and beer too..
i want to feel what sober really feels like...im just done with it all
so far its just depression.....body aches... chills...cold sweat...flu symptoms...when will this really start feeling better for me?
