Hey everyone, hope you all had a good Christmas,mine was ok,Im not gonna lie it was hard and Im glad its over. I couldnt make myself get into the Christmas spirit at all. I didnt want to do any shopping all i could do was rack my brain {whats left of it} trying to figure out why my best friend did what he did. All I can come up with is it was an accident he didnt mean to shoot his gf. And when it happened he knew he couldnt live with hisself. So he ended his own life too. Ive never had to go thru loseing a friend like this. Ive got so many what if's and if I's could ofs going thru my head. I found out later that he had been trying to give some of his stuff away to friends. Hes always told me and a few more that if the law ever came for him theyd never take him alive. Did he know that his life would end this way and he wanted to take someone with him? Im sorry guys but this is driving me crazier than Ive ever been. Was he trying to get me to go that night because he was planning on takeing me with him ? I dont know where else to go with all this, but here. Im still trying to get clean Ive been doing alot better Ive been eating alot and sleeping every night. Im weaning myself because I hear thats better than doing it cold turkey. I have so much to live for and I know MY God has me here for a reason. I truly believe I have a gaurdian angel, its saved me so many times. I do have some really good news for you my 22 yr old daughter has turned her life around. Over night she made a complete turn around, shes getting up early with the baby and going to bed early at night. And is being a terrific mom. Im so proud of her. Thanks again for letting me vent on here. You all are great. Hope you have a Happy New Year.
