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Tweekerland Meth Speed Bumps
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Posts: 8745
Feb 21 11 11:13 AM
Speedfreak Emeritus
Posts: 8762
Feb 21 11 10:30 PM
Forum Friend
Posts: 4841
Feb 22 11 8:42 AM
Feb 22 11 11:35 AM
Posts: 4189
Feb 22 11 5:32 PM
You're from Colorado if You'll eat ice cream in the winter. When the weather report says it's going to be 65 degrees, you shave your legs and wear a skirt. It snows 5 inches and you don't expect school to be canceled. You'll wear flip flops every day of the year, regardless of temperature. You have no accent at all, but can hear other people's. And then you make fun of them. 'Humid' is over 25%. Your sense of direction is: Toward the mountains and Away from the mountains. You say 'the interstate' and everybody knows which one. You think that May is a totally normal month for a blizzard. You buy your flowers to set out on Mother's day, but try and hold off planting them until just before Father's day. You grew up planning your Halloween costumes around your coat. You know what the Continental Divide is. You don't think Coors beer is that big a deal. You went to Casa Bonita as a kid, and as an adult. You've gone off-roading in a vehicle that was never intended for such activities. You always know the elevation of where you are. You wake up to a beautiful, 80 degree day and you wonder if it's going to snow tomorrow. **You don't care that some company renamed it, the Broncos still play at Mile High** Every movie theater has military and student discounts. Everybody wears jeans to church. You actually know that ** South Park ** is a real place not just a show on TV. You know what a 'trust fund hippy' is, and you know its natural habitat is Boulder. You know you're talking to a fellow Coloradoan when they call it Elitches, not Six Flags. A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you. Your two favorite teams are the Broncos and whoever is beating the crap out of the Raiders. When people out East tell you they have mountains in their state too, you just laugh. You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels 'sticky' and you notice the sky is no longer blue.
Posts: 26539
Feb 22 11 5:42 PM
Retro Space Cadet
Feb 22 11 5:46 PM
Posts: 6807
Feb 22 11 8:46 PM
Feb 22 11 9:44 PM
Your monthly house payments exceed your monthly income.
You make over $300,000 and still can’t afford a house.
You take a bus and are shocked when two people carry on a conversation in English.
Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
You speak Spanish, but you’re not Mexican.
Your child’s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
You don’t know anyone’s phone number unless you check your cell phone.
You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
You begin to “lie” to your friends about how close you are when you know damn well that it’ll take you at least an hour to get there (see below).
Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about “twenty minutes.”
You drive to your neighborhood block party.
A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
Gas is $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US
Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
You can’t remember … is pot illegal?
You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their smart phones.
It’s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work at least an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.
You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don’t notice.
In the “winter,” you can go to the beach, ski at Big Bear, mow your lawn in your shorts and maybe get a sunburn all on the same day.
You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.
If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you’re definitely driving.
Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.
You know what “In-’N-Out” is and feel bad for the other states that don’t have any.
You don’t stop at a STOP sign, you do a California roll.
You’ve partied in Tijuana at least 3 times and you can’t remember at least 1 of them.
You go to a tanning salon before you go to the beach.
Your have a permanent impression on the side of your head from your cell phone.
You know that Venice is a beach.
The waitress asks if you want “carbs” in your meal.
You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.
You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An “818” would never date a “562” and so on…
You call 911 and they put you on hold.
You have a gym membership because it’s mandatory.
The gym is packed at 3pm … on a workday.
You think you are better than the people who live “Over the Hill.” It doesn’t matter which side of the hill your home is, you are just better than they are.
You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald’s or a Starbucks.
You know what “sigalert,” “PCB,” and “five” mean.
You can’t remember . . . is pot illegal?
It’s barely sprinkling rain and there’s a report on every news station: “STORM WATCH.”
The Terminator is your governor.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from California.
Feb 23 11 8:42 AM
Posts: 3117
Feb 23 11 9:16 AM
You drive your car up onto the neutral ground if it rains steadily and heavily for more than two hours.You have flood insurance.
Someone asks for an address by compass directions and you say it's Uptown, downtown, backatown, riverside or lakeside.
Your burial plot is six feet over rather than six feet under.
You can pronounce and spell Tchoupitoulas.
If someone says "Magazine," you think street instead of periodical.You get on a bus marked "cemeteries" without a second thought.
You take a "right-hand turn" instead of a right turn.You can cross two lanes of heavy traffic and U-turn through a neutral ground while avoiding two joggers and a streetcar, then fit into the oncoming traffic flow while never touching the brake.
You know the definition of "dressed."
You know better than to drink hurricanes or eat Lucky Dogs.
You visit another city and they "claim" to have Cajun food -- but you know better.
You know that a po-boy is not a guy who has no money, but a great-tasting French bread sandwich.
The four seasons of your year are crawfish, shrimp, crab and erster.
Your 3-year-old child comes home singing his latest nursery rhyme: "Alligator pie, alligator pie, If I don't get some, I think I'm gonna cry. Give away the green grass, give away the sky, But don't give away my alligator pie."
Someone at a crawfish boil says, "Don't eat the dead ones," and you know what they mean.
The smell of a crawfish boil turns you on more than Chanel No. 5.
You berl crawfish and fry them in erl. Don't forget to pack the uneaten tails in ferl.
You're not afraid when someone wants to "ax" you.
You have no idea what a dragonfly is, but enjoy watching mosquito hawks fly near the lagoons in City Park.
You don't learn until graduate school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday.
On Christmas Eve, your daughter looks up in the sky, sees Santa Claus and yells, "T'row me somethin', mistah!"
You were in high school before you learned that the two major religions aren't "Catholic" and "public".
You haven't been to Bourbon Street in years.
You have a special set of well-broken-in shoes you refer to as your "French Quarter" shoes.
Every so often, you have waterfront property.
Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled.
That brown bag you take to the Saints game ain't your lunch.
You know that "Tipitina" is not a gratuity for a waitress named Tina.You have to buy a new house because you ran out of wall space for Jazz Fest posters.
People tell you that they have known you since you were knee high to a duck.
You can ask for lagniappe and not feel guilty.
You reply to anything and everything about life here with, "Only in New Orleans.
You're out of town and you stop and ask someone where there's a drive-thru daiquiri place (then they look at you like you have three heads).
Feb 23 11 8:30 PM
Posts: 9283
Feb 24 11 6:01 AM
Feb 24 11 6:07 AM
Feb 24 11 6:11 AM
Posts: 1611
Feb 24 11 6:15 AM
Feb 24 11 6:16 AM
Lisa wrote: A drive-thru daiquiri place? For reals?????
Feb 24 11 6:17 AM
knownfear1 wrote:I know, all y'all Cali folks see celebs all the time. Not so much here in Atl.
Feb 24 11 6:28 AM
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