Somewhere in the NarAnon literature it says that anger is the product of expecting someone to do (or not do) something, and then having things turn out differently to what you expected. This creates anger.
I've been thinking about anger lately, and I think anger is also connected to pain. Every time I've been angry at someone, it has been someone I care about. I don't really get angry at strangers. Annoyed maybe, when someone cuts me off in traffic, but never that deep anger I feel towards people who matter to me.
So, I was thinking, that anger is really a cover-up for pain. If someone hurts me, and they don't realise they hurt me, I get angry. So... I guess in my case, I expect them to know that what they've done has hurt me. Or perhaps, it is also that I expect them to behave in a certain way, and when they don't, that hurts me because they weren't 'considerate' enough to my feelings/wants/desires. And then my defensive response is to get angry.
Any thoughts?
