Race - it is a choice - you can live in "I'm close to letting go" for a really long painful time, for the rest of your life even.

I wasn't ready when I let go of my ex and I still indulge in what if thinking but less and less of it thank goodness

and the great news is - the less I do it the more joy there is in my day to day life. The longer I maintain no contact the more peaceful my life is and the more room there is for me in my life instead of spending 24/7 playing crisis nurse to selfish addict. Extremely difficult career choice with no pay or benefits.

I'm doing a lot of the same work ChrisG is and I am reading and writing out all the yuck of it.
Piece by piece I let go.

It is still hard at times. I miss the man I loved but I still don't even know if he ever existed.