I just want to be a normal 20 year old person and worry about normal things rather than being severly impaired in my perceptions and delilberating about various medical conditions. For the past 3 years, I have only been somewhat happy when I have had hope, but following each doctor visit that hope was vanquished. I know I cannot live with this problem, but then I can't fix that problem, and I just feel like it is pointless in trying to live my life and do anything. Mostly I have just wasting time during the day until it was an appropriate time to go to bed, and then I would wake up and see everything blurry and distorted again and it sucked and still sucks. I just need to solve this problem so I can be somewhat normal and be successful in my future endeavors, rather than being encumbered by this huge issue and struggling to accomplish even the most menial of demands.