I ( in my reality ) FEEL that I cannot be responsible for reacting the world that hates me and continues to abuse me ,

The funny thing about the word re-acting is that when you break it down into 2 words, it is basically saying that we are doing over the same actions that have not worked for us in the past when someone has treated us in a certain way.

For example, someone insults you or hurts your feelings. You can take it personaly and get all pissed off and choose to go and use or, you can choose to look at what is said to you and decide if there is any element of truth in what was said. If there is and you think that it is something that you desire to change then you can choose to do something about it. Up until now you have chosen to act on that by going and using. If you continue to re-act to what people say there is no point in reposting the same thing over and over again because while the details may be different, the main theme of the story will always remain the same.

A sad fact of life is that people abuse one another. It is how we all respond to the abuse that other people give to use that is what makes all the difference in the world.