You know what the truth is. You don't want to face it because you will then have to make a decision, the decision is to say and accept your boyfriend is addicted to drugs and all that goes with it or put yourself first and end the relationship that isn't healthy with a person you cannot trust. We have to learn to set healthy boundaries, part of that is knowing when to end a relationship that is toxic. Trusting untrustworthy people will get you let down each and every single time.

I have been where you are, my ex would "act" normal for a period of time a the whole thing would start over again. Each addict has their own m.o. His was making excuses to leave the house frequently, taking my car for extended unexplained periods of time, spending money and not having anything to show for it but a ton of bullshyt explanations, stuff like that. I'm an addict in recovery as well so I have bee on both sides of the fence. I left my ex in March 2007, so wow it's been two years now. It was a hard thing to do, unhealthy relationships are always difficult to end. The trauma bond is a hard thing to break but it can be done.

I kicked my ex out when he used again after being dry for a while, dry meaning no recovery program. No meetings, no sponsor, nothing. I was a big time enabler back then, making excuses and believing impossible lies but I had a 4.5 month old infant to think about, our son. I had to pull my head out of my arse and smell the coffee once and for all. So I kicked him out. I got a restraining order and stuck to it. I sought help from a domestic violence center which helped me so much. There were many other women there that had left drug addicted partners and moved on with their lives that gave me courage to continue on.


I sought help from a domestic violence center not because I was getting my arse beat. I wasn't. The lies, the verbal abuse, the manipulation, the con games, the controlling behavior, the tension, my inability to seek out healthy partners, my inability to set healthy boundaries, my inability to not trust untrustworthy people, my enabling, my codependency is what led me to seek help in the form of a weekly support group and one on one counseling--all free. CODA is also free, it stands for Codependents Anonymous. I strongly suggest you read the book, Codependent No More. It opened my eyes and really motivated me to change.


You will keep repeating this cycle with your boyfriend or someone else like him if you don't address your issues. Seeking out unhealthy relationships or staying in a relationship after it's turned toxic is a symptom of a larger issue. Just like drug abuse is a symptom of a more complex issue. If you stick around nothing will change for you. Do you really want to waste your life on a man like this? Your youth? Really? What is sooooooooooooooooooo lovable, soooooooooooooooooo irresistible, sooooooooooooo amazing about him?

Last Edited By: JamieJ1979 Mar 16 09 8:31 PM. Edited 1 times.