Thanks for the support and words of encouragement.

I know I'm not unique, and I hope that I'm not in denial. I'm just wondering if it's that unusual for someone to go to a Drug and Alcohol IOP years after she was a flaming addict and now "just" drinks and occassionally burns a joint?

I've never been to rehab, even when i really needed it way back when.

I know I need to learn to cope with life and function as a mature, responsible adult citizen. And I think that this IOP will probably help me with that. For that reason I'm thankful for it.

I just think that i'm not that bad off now... except for the fact that sometimes when I drink I feel suicidal. And sometimes when I feel really suicidal I drink. It's a vicious circle.

But I've never been dx'ed as an alcoholic, and I don't think that I am one. On the otherhand, I know I used to be really strung out on crank and crack and a big-time pot chronic.

I probably still would be if I had the connects and resources. Maybe that's the kicker.

What do you think?
Denial, perhaps?