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Posts: 11836
Jan 1 09 11:12 PM
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An awful lot of people hit one AA meeting and never go back.
The 12 steps are not for everyone, some people are never likely to get better following a spiritually based route-map to recovery; but a lot of people that give up early might have found some 12 step answers - if only they weren't so terminally unique.
Terminal uniqueness is an AA term coined to describe a reaction common to 12 steps newcomers. While a rare few attend their first meeting and feel instantly at home, most, a real majority, suffer through their first meeting thinking, "these people are nothing like me…what can I hope to learn from people like this".
Terminal uniqueness is expressed in two polar ways
These people are nothing like me, I never went to jail, lost my home…lived under a bridge. What can I, a successful_______ hope to learn from people like this?
These people are nothing like me, they've never been to jail, lost a home…lived under a bridge. How can they understand my unique problems? How can they help me?
Terminal Uniqueness Doesn't Help
Any alcoholic would be hard pressed to find a group of people more similar than those found at an AA meeting!
Terminal uniqueness has its roots in addictive thinking, that voice that keeps us drinking or using; sure that no one understands us. It's a voice that protects the addiction, part of denial - a voice that never leads anywhere good.
12 steppers recommend trying out at least a few meetings before making an evaluation. There are differences between meetings, and while one may not suit your tastes, another group might. But more fundamentally, giving 12 steps an honest try requires attendance with an open mind, at several meetings. It requires getting to know a few people involved, and not simply selecting a those few people at any given meeting that seem to reinforce your concept of terminal uniqueness, and lumping all 12 steppers together as far removed from you.
Most people that try AA (or any 12 steps) meetings go with initial trepidation, stay because it seems to help - and stay longer because of the people. Fellowship is an integral and vital aspect of 12 steps support, and you'd be hard pressed to find many long time AA alumni who haven't made great sober friendships from within the ranks. Friendships made powerful through a shared understanding, experience and motivation. Friendships that turn the whole concept of terminal uniqueness up on its ear!
Go to a 12 steps meeting, and if you don't like it, go to another, and another. It may not be for you, but keep an open mind and see if you don't just learn that the people at meetings are a lot more like you than you thought.
The Cat in the Sack My name is meth and I've come to your town You know who I am, you've seen me around The Earth did'nt make me I'm a product of man Who'd like to make money….. however he can I'll tempt you, I'll seduce you, I'll arouse curiosity And the door will swing open to join this atrocity All that it takes is just one little sniff And you're well on your way…… to being a stiff I'll take the smile off your face and make sores in it's place I'll take all that's yours….. in trade for disgrace I'll make you so thin that you'll look like Twiggy You'll behave most strangely and act really wiggy Now come a little closer, be a part of my lie Let me fool you and trick you… 'til you just want to die Whatever you've got I will take as you rot You might think this is bull, I assure you it's not Your family, your friends, your Mom and your Dad They will all fade away…. to become those that you had You'll hate those you love and love what you hate But don't worry about that 'cause I'll be your date You'll do what you can to make your next deal Whatever it takes…. you'll lie cheat and steal The spouse, the house, the dog and the truck They will all have to go….. for with me you are stuck So tell me, I'm puzzled, I don't understand Why people like you put their heads in the sand? Don't you know that you're one of a kind? There's no one else out there like you I can find Why can't you be happy inside your own skin? Why do you change this creation you've been? Is the wonder and magic of life not enough That you'd give it all up for this nasty stuff? And don't forget all the hearts you will break If you choose to go out and make this mistake Now ask this question… just one last time "Do I want to be…. what I hear in this rhyme?" What do you think? have I yet said enough? Do you think you will turn and run from this stuff? OK! enough of this crazed psycho babble But tell me, I wonder…. do you still want to dabble? If you say yes you won't really be phat You'll be a loser like me…… Tha Cat in the Sack
The Cat in the Sack
My name is meth and I've come to your town You know who I am, you've seen me around
The Earth did'nt make me I'm a product of man Who'd like to make money….. however he can
I'll tempt you, I'll seduce you, I'll arouse curiosity And the door will swing open to join this atrocity
All that it takes is just one little sniff And you're well on your way…… to being a stiff
I'll take the smile off your face and make sores in it's place I'll take all that's yours….. in trade for disgrace
I'll make you so thin that you'll look like Twiggy You'll behave most strangely and act really wiggy
Now come a little closer, be a part of my lie Let me fool you and trick you… 'til you just want to die
Whatever you've got I will take as you rot You might think this is bull, I assure you it's not
Your family, your friends, your Mom and your Dad They will all fade away…. to become those that you had
You'll hate those you love and love what you hate But don't worry about that 'cause I'll be your date
You'll do what you can to make your next deal Whatever it takes…. you'll lie cheat and steal
The spouse, the house, the dog and the truck They will all have to go….. for with me you are stuck
So tell me, I'm puzzled, I don't understand Why people like you put their heads in the sand?
Don't you know that you're one of a kind? There's no one else out there like you I can find
Why can't you be happy inside your own skin? Why do you change this creation you've been?
Is the wonder and magic of life not enough That you'd give it all up for this nasty stuff?
And don't forget all the hearts you will break If you choose to go out and make this mistake
Now ask this question… just one last time "Do I want to be…. what I hear in this rhyme?"
What do you think? have I yet said enough? Do you think you will turn and run from this stuff?
OK! enough of this crazed psycho babble But tell me, I wonder…. do you still want to dabble?
If you say yes you won't really be phat You'll be a loser like me……
Tha Cat in the Sack
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