Just want to say I am sorry for your loss. I have been through heartache similar, but less really cause no shared children. That really makes this hard. You are right the people here who are recovering addicts are heroes. They have saved me from myself, because there comes a point when you realize the depth of the problem with your x and you do let go. That is when you can heal yourself. When you begin to heal yourself, the bitterness and anger leave. You are blessed to have those children. Your are so right in filling your life with their joy. Teach them to hate the drug; not their mother. This has to be so confusing for them.