le grumps Ive been drunk the last two labor & memorial days and a couple family reunion. I really didnt even have the desire to drink then. I drank to fit in. And not because I didnt think they would except me sober. But because in my mind I couldnt have any fun with them unless I was drinking.

Thats the power I give alcohol over me. The only problem I see with my drinking is why I drink. I drink to be a part of my old life to be with my old friends. Because I haven't learned how to do it without drinking yet. I guess I have to surrender that thinking in order to replace it with different thinking. Im not sure.

I believe I have the ability to to do those thing sober and have just as much fun. But Im either afraid to try or Im just not ready yet.

Either way Im not going to worry about it until next memorial day. I hope Im ready to give it up by then. Drinking has done nothing but took from me. All the laughs eventually have a price.