Robby,

You CAN get sober. You can. People with a dual diagnosis, BPD and addiction do it. They have similar problems and issues as you. Think of Hemet. That lady is a champion, but she did not get there over night. She's a fighter, she's a warrior. But you know what? We all are in our own ways! I'm sure that if you give yourself the chance you'll also be able to meet some other people, and awesome support people and new friends. Maybe someone else who is more "like you". You might have experiences like I did, where you sit down in a meeting, and wonder if someone is actually stealing the feelings or experiences or stories right out of you. I can't tell you how amazing that felt to me, when I finally realized that I wasn't the only person who felt that weird, that awful, that damaged. Those meetings FINALLY felt like the place for me. Then, I knew I was on to something.

And I know you can get there. I think that people here are trying, the best way they know how, to give you a push in the right direction. A lot of the stuff that you don't like to hear, some of that is trying to get you to move out of your own denial, in a way. Of course, we're only human, too, so maybe we're not always doing it in the best way. I think we've established that most of us aren't professionals. We've got a lot of people here with lots of experiences, personal and hard-fought experiences. We've all been around the block with meth a few times. We have a LOT of feelings about it. I know that when I think about you, I feel so strongly in my heart that I want you to beat it, and I believe that you can, but I know it's a fight.

Don't stop fighting for yourself. You ARE worth it.