"We care about you and we want you to get help"

"- One reason for the attempts are to gain control. A person contemplating suicide often pictures their own death in terms of a funeral. They will fantasize about all the people coming to mourn. In their mind, this is a way of regaining control over their life. Maybe they see no way out of a situation, This idea may sound very strange to someone who is in a stable state of thinking, but I assure you that it is very real to the person who is suffering" "It may feel like the suicide attempts are just screaming for attention and that returning the attention will just continue the attempts. You do not want to continue a catch 22. Be assured that anyone who feels so helpless as to take their own life, is truly in trouble. Thoughts as serious as suicide cannot be taken lightly and are not normal."- By Angela Kimball, published May 21, 2007.

Even thou this is about suicide, It seems to make a bit of sense (to me) with your situation Robbie.

I find that releaving your (my) conscience helps kick BPD. I found that for me as soon as I made peace with myself and those I hurt I no longer felt like BPD controlled me...I continue to control it. I AM NORMAL but I have BPD.

Robby, you start you thread with "Disease won again"...you are not helpless against this, 'it' is helplessly stuck to you until YOU excuse it from your life.