Paws from hell wrote:
Even now I don't sit here smug thinking it's over. I don't now how to tell you to quit Rob... I'm just a guy who has a few ideas about how to live easier without using or putting a 9mm through my skull.

well said Al...

Rob- I hope you are getting yourself ready to go to intake and try again to get yourself into a safe space.
Please reread what is here - the good the bad and the ugly.

Try to find the truth in each person's post no matter how uncomfortable it may feel.
I think the person who wrote that what treatment offers you - what it primarily offers you - is a safe space to stay clean, have a bed under a roof and food on a table.
Yes there are rules and chores and all that stuff - those are the skills - practices you need for being able to live life on life's term once you are back out of a safe place and having to do recovery without the safety of a treatment center surrounding you.

Treatment is not a magic pill or place where you come out and do not have to face all the stuff you face today. It is just hopefully a place you can learn to live and function - and yes guess what - life can be boring - very very boring - that is called peaceful Robby. And if it is too dull there are plenty of healthy ways to make it more exciting - versus living on the street - endless trips to the ER etc... that stuff is really boring and exhausting after awhile cause it is like ground hog day - it never changes...

No one wishes anything for you other than you get recovery. The other stuff is just a way to try and reach you and get you to see what you are doing to yourself. Tolerating your complaining and self pity has not served you so you cannot expect more of that from most people.

Good luck today.