Amy, I was once told that if my world fell apart and I had to go through the kind of thing you are going through now, there was a way I could stay clean, no matter what.

I was told that I could stay clean EXACTLY the same way I stay clean today.

Call my sponsor, stick with the winners and other people who don't use if I start getting the urge to use, go to meetings, read the literature, call another addict, go to meetings, journal and write about it, remember that I only have to stay clean for one day, write a gratitude list (I see you've done that, ) go to meetings, and don't pick up, no matter what.

My sponsor always reminds me that when times get tough, the best thing to do is to just get back to basics...

"I can't..."

"(He) Can..."

"I think I'll let (Him)"

Don't ever forget recovery is a "We" thing. You don't have to do this alone.