Are you sure? Every time I read any of your posts you seem like you completely believe that you have an incurable disease that will only be cured by some form of divine intervention. I think anyone who has suffered from severe substance abuse would of cut off their right hand and more at many points throughout for some kind of magic cure.

You know what's out there in terms of treatment, that is it! There are no magic pills there, they don't hypnotize you, nothing changes besides the fact that they will prevent you from killing yourself and keep you fed and clean which you might not be able to do on your own depending on your DOC's. This is just my opinion but I think even the most hardcore 12-steppers don't think of themselves and their 'disease' as two separate entities that are fighting over the same body. From what I've seen of those that made it through those programs they still take responsibility for their recovery and for all their actions during their active addition.

I really don't know what your looking for, maybe deciding to use and party until the wheels fall off would be easier if that's how you want to spend the rest of your days. I wouldn't burn all my bridges here though, I don't think people mind it if there is a little drama but this constant cry for BASIC human needs such as shelter & food (not to mention being loved in some way and belonging), get to people and the more you keep doing it and blame it on your 'disease' the more it seems like your crying wolf and maybe in 5-10 years when you do decide to quit you will need this place?

I don't know why you are so surprised that some people here are mocking you.... I was homeless for a while too and these little insults and pics here in cyberspace are nothing compared to what you get in the real world.. your a grown man, at least act like one, even if your whole identity at the moment is a 'diseased junkie.'

Best of luck, again..

-ian.