Rob I went through this "where is home?" thing psychologically -- for about 4 years. Horrible feeling. You move around so much I wonder if you have a "Where is home?" kind of confusion on top of everything else? Here is my stupid question--well maybe two. What does a rehab have or do, that you think might give you a chance? I mean what does it have to do with "hating" yourself. Because that is what is really going on here. You mean to tell me a drug can have more power than "hating" yourself? It sounds to me like the drug is telling you to hate yourself. If I am too ignorant to get it, I'm sorry. Who or what gave you the idea you can treat yourself like that? It is so heartbreaking to hear you hate yourself and ------really I think if you are really willing to consider Dr. Phil, if I were you --- I think I would call someone like the Montana Meth Project and offer to trade some anti-meth ads for the kind of treatment you seek. Just think of all the people it might help. Now that is powerful--maybe even more powerful than hating yourself. Make you own peace, man--love ya