My experience is that telling someone else what flaws they have is only helpful if that person respects you. Otherwise it's just insulting. It will not be well received. It will almost always backfire.

I don't watch TV shows I think are bad. I change the channel. (Unless someone I love and care about really wants to watch, then I might continue watching)
I don't sit around outside if there's a bad smell in the air. I move to a better smelling spot. (Unless someone I love and care about really wants to stay, then I might stay anyway)
I don't return to restauraunts who's food made me sick. (OK, I doubt I'd even eat there if someone I loved wanted to!)
I don't call up people I dislike and ask them if they want to hang out. (But I might hang out with people I don't care for if someone I love and care about is there.)

Basically, why would I stay somewhere that is repeatedly uncomfortable, unenjoyable, and causes me emotional pain? Well, if there is balance with other wonderful feelings, it might make it worth it. But when the balance swings in favor of repeated pain, why keep returning? Continuing to do something despite pain, and for very little benefit, is the definition of addiction in my opinion.

I have felt a noticeable emotional shift in myself these last 2 weeks as well. And I'm asking myself the same question; Is the benefit worth the price? Is the pain worth it? At what point does it take away from my life rather than enhance it? Is watching someone recover worth being insulted?

Sometimes.

Sometimes it is the right choice to stay the course, learn the lesson, grow, and continue. Retreat to heal and live another day.

Sometimes the lesson is knowing when to walk away. Knowing that the lesson itself is to go rather than stay. Knowing that not all advice should be taken to heart.

So, where did it go wrong? The same place most things go wrong -- when they are done without visible love, respect, compassion, and kindness.

Perhaps she had enough of having other people tell her how she should change to meet their standards. I can see the value in that.

When I'm willing to give up my own core values to please another person, I lose myself.