Breakingpoint,

I'm sorry - what a difficult situation.

I think the answer to your question IS your question... When DO you say enough?

When I was using, I kept thinking ONE DAY I WOULD KNOW IT WAS TIME TO QUIT... Just like you think there will be a moment and you will say 'Enough'

But those kind of moments often don't happen... Instead, you simply have to say NOW is enough.

Here is another way to look at it -- How bad do I want my husband to hurt himself and me, how bad do I want him to look to our kids, how much lower do I want him to sink before I say enough?

I've known many good people who don't want to be the "bad guy". I've watched as they've only left once the addict has done something SO egregious as to ensure everyone will say, "Well of course you left"

Mind you, I'm not saying this is you, nor am I saying that is even bad. It is merely human. People often want life to make the choices for us.

Since you have two children, I would humbly suggest you NOT wait for that event.

t

P.S as for things like "I let him drive the kids around" - I use the 'friend' test.   Whereby I say would I let my friend whose an addict pick my kids up at school?  Often times, when we substitute another person behaving exactly the same way our perceptions change abruptly.