To Jennifer,

It may be enough to just be on this forum.  But, for many of us there are 10 + years invested in our relationship and/or 2 + kids to think of in all of our choices.  Using drugs is always ultimately their choice, but many loved ones who want to save their relationship will need some support and an honest look at themselves also.  The act of using drugs and becoming dependent on them is only a small part of the condition, a part that must stop for recovery to start.  I think loved ones sometimes blame themselves, sometimes won't take any blame/responsibility, most of the time they are just as baffled as the addict.   A recovering addict and those with a good length of sobriety behind them are some of my most favorite people in the world!  In fact, oftentimes the one who was the addict ends up more emotionally healthy.  Relationships are the core to everything, and it takes two no matter what.