Personally i don`t believe sides even need to be chosen. I`m on the side of somebody seeking support as best they can - whoever they are. It`s the intention that`s key. I don`t have any agenda whatsoever , aside from maybe sharing my experience , recovery wise , with mutual support groups.  The perps here can`t feign innocence with me; i`ve been reading nearly every post on here for 12 years or more and i can read between the lines. What the poster might think they are being subtle about , or even are legitimately unaware of , becomes glaringly obvious after a couple of hundred posts.  If someone is out of line or i detect bs i`m not inclined to baby them. That includes other members.