Hi Mamasitarose, I'm glad you found this site...Welcome.

I am here due to my daughters meth addiction too. The only word I can say is tragic. Seeing your daughter overtaken by meth is tragic. When there are children involved it is beyond comprehension. We ask ourselves, how could this happen? Why did this happen? We experience every emotion possible. We are forced onto the roller coaster ride of emotions with no logical solutions.

First, you are a very good person and those children are lucky to have someone in their lives who has stepped up to take care of them. You are in a very difficult situation where you are torn between the love of your grandchildren, nurturing and protective instincts, feeling it is your duty to care for your grandchildren and what you are physically capable of. Thank god for your niece who has offered to care for them.

My two cents, let your niece take care of the children day to day and you can still be a big part of their lives. Perhaps work out a plan to give her respite for whatever you both work out, daily, weekends or whatever works for both of you.

Sometimes when we are in the midst of the meth chaos, we can't see the forest through the trees. As grandparents, we have done our time raising little ones. We should be able to help out, enjoy them, spoil them and return them to their parents for the day to day. Your niece is a better fit for the day to day, stepping in for your daughter.

Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Breathe in, breathe out. Release the guilt. Pick up the phone and call you niece. Tell her she is an angel on earth. Allowing her to care for the kids does not mean you love them less. In fact, it shows you love them more, by putting their needs at the forefront and doing what's best for them. Unless your husband is willing to take on the hard work of cooking, cleaning, feeding, bathing, chasing, teaching etc. etc., he really has to agree it's the best solution. It's sometimes hard for the hubby's to realize we are not 30 anymore.

You must take care of yourself. It is not selfish, it is more important now than ever. You need to be there for the long term.

As for meetings, as Just ol ma said, find Naranon or Alanon. Meetings for loved ones of addicts.

Read everything you can about meth addiction. It truly is like no other. Knowledge is power and will help you understand. This is not your daughter right now. It is meth. Meth is evil and can destroy entire families. Read about enabling, codependency and gas lighting.

If you can get your husband to join you in this journey, that would be great for both of you. I personally could never get my hubby to partake in any of it.

Please keep coming here. The people here have literally saved my life. Even after all these years, I am still learning. Sending you (((BIG HUGS)))