See, this is the kind of thing that sucks.

She screwed up, it was a relapse, it happens, but she couldn't be honest with him, because she was scared to death of him, knowing he would have an absolute sh*tfit. If she confessed it, she was in trouble. If she didn't confess it and he found out, she would be in the same exact trouble for lying. If she had tried to keep it a secret, she was being a "sneaky meth head", and would have to carry the burden of hiding it, and if she finally came clean about it....yes, I had a screw up, I'm sorry, I'm trying....well, she would have been in trouble.

You can't be in a relationship with someone who is so rigid you can't be honest AT ALL. Would it have been helpful if she could have went to him, and said listen, I screwed up, I'm sorry, please forgive me and be supportive and loving to me while I try to get my sh*t together again? Ummm....YEAH....that would have been freaking NICE! You can't be surprised when someone lies to you and is evasive if you are going to crucify them for being a human being who makes mistakes!

And this is helping her how? Would she be more likely to say screw it and go get high if he would have given her a hug and said, "honey, I know you are trying, we will figure it out, I love you. I am here for you. You are not a bad person. You should go to a meeting. I'll pick us up some supper. What do you think caused this to happen? How can you prevent it happening again? Let's talk about it."

Or, for him to say, "oh, man, you screwed up now! I told you if you screwed up you would be out, so now you are! We are done, I guess maybe you can start giving blow jobs behind 7/11 to get some money for a room or you can live in a bush. I bet if you end up sleeping in your car you will get fired...oh well, it's not my problem, because you SCREWED UP, and I don't give second chances."

I can guarantee you which chain of events would lead me to an, "oh well fk it then" frame of mind.

And I don't think ANYONE should have to put up with a drug addict who doesn't want to change and all their garbage and BS. And granted, it's only one side of the story, and leaving my remaining dope out for him to find would probably not have been my choice here....but maybe, for someone who is scared, it's a way to send a "Help!" message. Well, he dropped the ball on that one! Or maybe, a way to end a frightening relationship in an indirect manner...

Don't demand honesty, and make honesty so impossibly hard.

I'm glad his halo is so spotless and shiny. It must be a real challenge to be perfect in a world of mere mortals.