I went to a alanon meeting once that helped to answer the question about assisting the loved ones issues.

It was a meeting that allowed "cross-talk" ie we had the latitude as listeners to ask questions and provide feedback to the person as they were talking as opposed to giving them the space where they can freely speak their minds without concern for immediate, two way conversation.

Cross-talk meetings (some non cross-talk meetings too) prefer to meet around a table instead of in rows to facilitate eye contact and the "face to face" that comes with.

This meeting was small, about eight people.

It was obvious too that they all had a history with each other.

My immediate feeling was that theses folks were old friends and I was welcomed into the fold with open arms and felt comfortable with them right from the start.

I spent the next hour and a half hanging out and getting to know them and them getting to know me.

In the end, that was what it was all about. Community and communion within a group of kindred folk.....no experts, no "we have all the answers"...just a group of friends that shared common bonds on a deeply personal level.

They were friends who supported each other, and would be friends for a long time.