Loved ones are not "blameless and problem free," or they would not be in a relationship with an addict, nor would they be on this forum.  (I now retract on "blameless" - "can't cause, can't control, can't cure," which I learned from this forum.)  I'm new to this forum, and only now starting to learn about the "fights."  We need to help each other.  Where else can we GO?  We all have different perspectives and different experiences.  That is going to cause conflict along the way, but we are all here for one purpose:  to help meth users and those who suffer from being in relationships with meth users.  To distract from this important mission with lesser issues detracts from the important mission of this forum:  to HELP meth users.  People are what they are, and people need a free space to express themselves.  I myself am horrified at my first attempts recently, want to find a way to delete my posts, delete my account,  change my user name, and crawl into a hole and die in shame.  If you don't like what someone posted, bless it and move on.  We NEED each other here.  Again, I'm so new, I hesitate to proclaim what this forum should be, but I initially found some great help here and don't want that to be lost to bickering.