It's good to see that you are accepting accountability for your actions and actively seeking ways to turn the negatives into positives not only for yourself but for others.

No one has ever claimed quitting and then seeking recovery was easy...and if one looked at the expenditure of emotion, effort, time. money to continue using, the quitting and recovery seems to have less expense, which actually works out pretty darned well for most folks. Everyone likes a bargain, and recovery can be the best bargain anyone ever got.