Well sounds like you have some meth psychosis mixed with withdrawel. Pretty nasty place to be - but there`s only one way out and its straight through. How long since you last used ? The meetings are a good idea - make sure you stick a hand up when they ask if there`s anyone new and keep an open mind.

The addict side of you ,which you now probably identify as being "you", calls a lot of the shots and tries to tell you whats what. The best way to combat this is to find some people who`ve recovered and do what they do. you may have to stop listening to yourself so much - its hard to fix a broken mind with a broken mind...