Travis,

Maybe your excitement about the future gets lost in the translation?

I know it does for me. (Mine gets lost sometimes)

The truth of it all is this: I think I liked a lot of what I "had" before Meth...

But who knows if I would have kept on liking it?

I do know that the emptiness Meth left behind makes it easy to think back to the past...

And that if I am not careful I can use that to punish myself.

I can share that I notice a sneaking cruel voice sneaks into my life when I look back too much.

A voice that says: "you won't have it that good ever again"

Now we all know that's a crap voice because I can't predict the future...

Not too mention it would be more logical to say, "you've been there before, you can go places again..."

I guess what I'm saying is for me, there are times when I might sound less enthusiastic about the future than I am.

And there are days that may be true.

But the actions of my life say "I'm excited!!"

This just doesn't always translate to the page...

Especially when I explore (with the hope to ultimately separate) the connection my mind made between feeling lonely in the present (which is fine) to feeling doomed for having lost the past.