"I still mourn for the person that I used to be."

Either you are talking about the person that you were before you started using drugs, which was pretty young I believe (like 13?), in which case you probably never really had the chance to know "you".

Or, you are talking about that person who experienced all the fun that drug use gave to you....

You often talk about being stuck and unable to feel pleasure...So, if making coat racks and book shelves is how you define your purpose in life, which for many folks is the wellspring of happiness and joy, than you are crazy not to take drugs.

Life is short...Start using again if it makes you happy.

Maybe that is the problem with equating pleasure with happiness....Pleasure can be so selfish and how "I" feel vs happiness which is more of a "connected" sense of well-being...Just thinking out loud on that one and how you seem to have it all, great job, great family, nice toys....Lot's to be grateful for.

I wish you luck man, but honestly, what you are looking for may not find you, you might have to find it.

Keep doing what you're doing and you'll keep getting what you're getting.

What about getting a sponsor and working on these things that are ailing you?


PS - Nice post traveller....I enjoyed it and your link in the other thread a whole bunch!