@Devilscandy - I feel your pain. I really feel your pain. I was on this board a few years ago.....and now I am back. My son is 24 years old. He has used meth since he was 14 - a fact
that I did not know until recent years. I have tried everything that I could think of to get him to straighten up and start participating in his own life. I admit that I have been an enabler.
Because of that fact - there have been times when my husband (his father) was ready to leave me. My daughters quit coming home and didn't want their children to be in my house because
of it. I kept thinking that I could help him through this. I could love him enough so that he would want to quit using. He had done better for awhile - but now has lost a great deal of weight.
His behavior is irrational. Everything is somebody else's fault. I am writing today - because this morning I made a tough choice. He is supposed to meet with his probation officer today. He
has missed the last 5 appointments. But - he always calls the probation officer and gets by with it. I made the decision to call his probation officer and suggest that he be drug tested today.

He will go to jail.

Depending on what he has in his system today - he could potentially go to jail for quite awhile.

But I can't take it anymore. I never know what I am going to find when I go home. I never know if he is going to be breaking things - or staring silently off into space.

But I do know that if I don't do this now - I will either lose him forever......or I will lose the rest of my family.

But I need the support of others going through this too. If he does go to jail - he will be calling me. He will wear me down....make me feel bad....and promise me that he will
never do it again. I CANNOT bail him out again!!!!! Please if you have the time and the energy....please keep me going strong in this! I am going to need a lot of support
and my immediate family is to tired to do it anymore.

Tired and sad
Danielle