Abyss - Relax.  So what, you used again.  Its not that big of a deal.  The voices you hear do have me concerned, as I heard them too. I am glad to hear that you are not going on a binge now that you fell off.  Alcohol is not the answer, but I drank too during recovery, so I'm not the person to be casting stones here.  Tomorrow will be a New Year.  Start it with Day 1, and I will be here for you.  I know its hard to start at Day 1 again.  Just do it.  The voices you are hearing is not a good thing, and meth will definitely make them worse.  The voices nearly drove me insane.  I know that they were not real, but they sure fooled me.  I even heard voices in the attic, and made my husband climb up there to make sure that nobody was up there.  I would lay in bed at night, and I could hear them in the attic talking about me all night.  Do whatever you need to do to stay away from the meth tonight. Drink yourself sick if you need to.  Yes, I'm ducking because I know I'm going to catch hell for saying that.  If its a choice between the two, go with the alcohol.  What you will find is that you can't drink as much alcohol when you are not doing meth. When I was doing meth I could drink most guys under the table, without the meth, it just made me sick.  I'm proud of you for not running away.  Crazy Girl is on Day 3 today, so why don't you join her in getting clean.  I will check here every couple of hours in case you need someone to talk to.  Your friend, Carol