I don't think there is an absolute answer to that question.

I am a mom of a 26 year old, over 2 year clean, daughter. She is doing great, working full time, living on her own and is my best friend, once again.
It was a long road. At first I had no idea what to do. I found this site and everyone helped me greatly. Most of the advice and things I read was the "no contact" method. There was one person I met who changed my thinking. My mom passed away during this whole ordeal with my daughter. I met a woman who helped me at the Neptune Society. We hit it off immediately. I learned she was a recovering meth addict. She told me if it weren't for her family, she never would have made it. This stuck with me.

When my daughter had just started drug court, she had nowhere to go. We drove around and I reluctantly brought her home. Here's where the difference is between enabling, co dependency and how I handled it. I took off my rose colored glasses. I locked up everything of value. Took my purse with me upstairs and down. I said, here are the rules while you live here, period. You will be respectful to us, no one comes to the house. You will find a job and go every day. In return I will help you help yourself. I will drive you to your drug court stuff when needed, you will respect my time etc.

It was hard at first and everyone thought I was setting myself up for the fall. Like I said, now I have my daughter back in my life and we are best of friends. We talk every day and it is on an equal level now. I am very lucky.