Oblivion,

I totally get it. This is the opposite side of the momentum mind... It doesn't feel that way, I know. It feels like "reason". It feels like "reality". It feels like "the truth".

It isn't.

As a test, maybe even write down a few of the "thoughts".

Then put them in a drawer and look at them when your mood has changed.

Be interesting to read them then.

HOWEVER

Being alone can suck no matter what.

Are there any non-druggie non-family people you can see?

And "see" is a loose term. If you really want to blow your own mind open, you could try calling someone and seeing what they are up to and ask if you can join in/help.

I know it may sound goofy. But I'm not a goofy guy. And I swear, somedays when I was alone and down, when I forced myself to go do something and I ended up making someone else's day better... Well that night, I slept with a smile on my face. Because instead of doing something mean to myself (use) I did something good with my time.

But all that are just options. Tools in your toolbox. Being an addict in recovery is like being Scotty on Star Trek. You gotta have a lot of tricks to keep the ship running at all times. Some days it is easy. Some days it is a war.

This mood will pass. Even though you'd swear it won't. Just watch and wait...

For today and only today.

Hang in there brother. We are here if u need us.

t