Hey Abyss - Congratulations on Day 4.  You know what the consequences are of using, and the consequences just get worse with time.  I tried to sleep as much as I could for the first month, as I hated the feelings of anxiety when I was awake.  I hope that you can find some joy in Christmas.  I'm a Christmas Carol, as I was born two days after Christmas.  I love Christmas, but I can't even remember the Christmas in the year that I stopped using meth, so it must not have been very important to me that year.  Just take it one day at a time.  Or even one hour at a time if need be.  Like I said, feel free to unload on me.  I would much rather have you unload on me, then on some unsuspecting friend or relative.  I know how you are feeling because I have walked in your shoes, so I will not take it personally, but they probably will.  I swear.  Its no problem.  Yell, scream, throw shoes at me, I don't mind.  It will even make you feel better. Lol.  Holding it all in just makes you sick. Your friend, Carol