I used to think that my biggest addiction was the cooking too...

But I was just kidding myself.

I've come to understand that it was just another way for me to re-package my cravings, a form of euphoric recall that was really nothing but plain old denial....My mind playing tricks on me.

Using and cooking produce the exact same emotions...I can tell myself they are different, but they really aren't.

Cooking is just another step of my using ritual...It's all about the meth.

If cooking was really my addiction...I'd be making essential oils or trying to invent the next great fragrance or something.

But the truth is, without the meth part, the cooking means nothing to me.