ForgotPassword?
Sign Up
KCI The Anti-Meth Site
Live Chat
Meth Letters & Stories
Tweekerland Meth Speed Bumps
Search this Topic:
Forum Jump
Posts: 2118
Mar 2 11 8:10 AM
Robby99 wrote:Chris I don't feel I justify using .... It is hard to explain but when the urge comes over me I cannot stop myself. That's a fiend. I know that fiend well, if we didn't fiend Robby, we wouldn't be here. Maybe I can get well , I sure hope so. And that will be completely up to you. We can type our tips offs and your loved ones can go miles on your behalf BUT ultimately, it WILL be up to YOU if you stop for good or not. We all have our own battles and no one person can say what another person thinks is wrong. I didn't say you were wrong.. I was saying that we can go from thinking about using to actually using and that's done step by step and it usually happens right after we found THE reason that makes it okay to use... like entering rehab. I don't don't how many times I've surrendered myself all doped up. One time I was so high, they made me wait in the lobby for a good 6-8 hours.. and that was to do some jail time. I miss the lifestyle more than the high. That's why so many people say you have to change your lifestyle if they're all fiendish. I had to stay away from my own family members for a long time before I could even visit them bc I know they got dope for sale. Now, they doubt they'd sell to me bc I also have family that supports my recovery. I wish I did not miss it cause I know it will kill me but it is a powerful addiction for me , I know a lot of people who have died behind drug use. It does happen and unfortunately the human body isn't that easy to kill and then there's them damn medics always trying to save a life. My sister seems to think that killing herself via drug/alcohol use isn't going to be long lasting, she kept saying she was dying a few years ago and now she's actually just really sick from her pancreas, liver and digestive system. Fortunately, the body can heal and will if a person takes care of it.. that has to be up to the individual.I have tried to beat it for years with little success. Did you know that when you continually repeat negative statements like that one.. you're reinforcing that statement in your mind?? You ought to try something positive or at least look for the positive to add to the negative..Hopefully I can stay clean next few days and then go to get help in rehab. Hoping and actually utilizing skills that will keep you clean are pretty different. Hope is good but reading some positive material aimed at recovery and actually getting out there and doing positive things that will keep you well would really be helpful... grow a garden or anything that's enjoyable and not drug related.Why would it be locked up ? That is absurd, its freedom of speech and as you can see it has over 130 replies. Hot topic. Your threads usually get locked up because you usually get mad on straight up advice and then the person you get mad at gets defensive and well.... we all got some fight in us or else again... we wouldn't be here. It's a fight to stay clean and a bigger one to change your lifestyle if need be to recover.People just seem to ignore the fact that people miss the drug. They pretend the drug goes away and people never think of using and that is just unrealistic. No.. I'm sure most of us still think about doing a hit here and there. I know I've wanted to toss int the recovery towel more than once. If I don't get a grip on my thoughts, I'll use.And I DO NOT talk myself into using, you should not judge someone unless you live in their shoes. YES YOU DO!! I've been in your shoes down to the homelessness and rebellion you've shown in rehab that's gotten you kicked out and back on the road to USING!!I have an obsessive personality and when the drug calls me I have trouble saying no. You're an ADDICT and that's the thing you want to cover with every other ailment.. but fine Robby, keep thinking you're one of a kind or only those that call you "honey" can relate. Sugar coating sh it is not a part of my makeup. You're an ADDICT like the rest of us.. on top of being an addict, you're a fiend and you indulge in the perversion that goes with addiction... and those are the issues you should address bc those are the ones that lead you into your continual relapses! I am not the only one who is a chronic relapser, many people are. This is another line of justifying your behavior that will, in your mind, make it OK to use again.Maybe you should have bypassed the thread if you want to be like that. Maybe you shouldn't talk so much sh it to people who DO know what you're going through. Nothing good to say, don't say nothing at all.
Share This